Tablecloths. Oh the joy of my mom forcing her creativity on all of us who set foot in her domain. Well her half of it at least. My parents basically split not only their bedroom in half but most of the other rooms too. In the kitchen my mom has the table and the wall/cupboard space while my dad has the chairs and the pans. they also use opposite sides of the stove but i don't think that's on purpose... Around the table is a mishmash of so many random chairs that only 2 match each other. There's a big rolling chair, 2 white plastic chairs, another white plastic chair with a different back and different color so that there is no way this white matches the other white chairs, a wooden chair so old and creaky its gonna fall apart any day now just like our old wooden table that fell in 3 pieces on 4 different occasions and is now rotting outside. In the middle of this random conglomeration of chairs is The Table. Its white and plastic but since this is my mom it actually bugs her unlike my dad. Mom being mom she decides that we need a tablecloth.
Mom and I were grocery shopping when she just stops dead in the middle of the aisle so suddenly that I run into her and the person behind me knocks me into my mom forcing her into the person running down the adjoining aisle. I don't even think she noticed. she calmly walks down one of those random side aisles that nobody ever uses and after apologizing to the 2 dazed people sitting on the ground I hurry after her. She had found her table clothes. the one that had caught her eye was a watermelon pattern that was all girly and i just said to myself "Blast... here goes another 2 hours in the store..." I promptly sat down quietly and pretended I didn't know the random person asking for my advice. The best thing to do when a girl asks for you advice is to give no comment. If you say yes she has to not like it, if you say no she has to like it. If you don't say anything your still in trouble but hopefully no one got offended. but of course she knows this too ( my sister told me) so since you think that she will act the way i just said she has to act any way but that way cause she has to do the unexpected. But knowing your going to expect the unexpected... I could go on for a while longer but i think you get the idea. Any way back to the story. We ended not only with the watermelon but with Easter eggs, red/pink/white hearts, blue and green and any mixture of the 2 colors of 4 leaf clovers, and numerous others for not only the seasons, holidays, and birthdays but also random ones that you know so that you know that she is mocking you because she knows that you have no say and is going to enjoy every minute of it. Mothers are still girls after all. That is why i am sitting in the off-white chair with the weird back typing on a table that has a watermelon tablecloth.
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